precipitate

dati, ang motto ko ay "no regrets" then it became "everything happens for a reason" ngayon ang motto ko na ay "if you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the precipitate" XD

ayokong maging precipitate. ayokong maging solid thing na nagsesettle lang sa ilalim. sige, gusto ko maging colorful thing. but i'd rather be this colorful thing that's dissolved in the solution; fluid, active and dynamic.

i'm still stuggling, going back and forth from being dynamic to being stagnant. i'm trying to live one day at a time pero parang nauunahan ako ng takot at katamaran.

waaaaa... XD

moodswings... nalulungkot nanaman ako... kailangan ko ng schedule. ung seriosong schedule na kailangan kong sundin. kailangan ko ng discipline. naliligaw nanaman ako ng landas... sana bukas ok na...

~

nanaginip nanaman ako kanina ng weird. illogical weird. this usually happens when i'm about to get my period and my body is high on hormones and today is not one of those days. maybe its because there's a real issue that's bothering me. maybe it's my subconscious talking to me, telling me that i have to do something about it. i have to change and be a person that i'm supposed to be.

when i was young, i thought i was a nice person. maybe i was. i was kind to everyone and i did everything that my teachers told me to do. eventually i got exposed to the real world where i learned a lot of things that i'm not supposed to learn. great. now, there's no way i could unlearn. wala na ngang brain washing machine, wala pang unlearning machine. ang hirap talaga ng buhay. so now, i'm suffering the consequences of making bad decisions. great.

i miss having a conscience-person. i miss having someone look over my shoulder and check up on me. kailangan ko ng taong babatukan ako kapag lumalandi nanaman ako. bad laya *wapak*